Common Bitches

The Daily: Coquette: On cutting him off forever

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:57:50 -0400

The Daily: Coquette: On cutting him off forever:

Dear Coquette,

Last night an ex sent me an email in which he informed me that he resents me for convincing him not to kill himself four years ago. It’s been two years since we were together, near as long since we’ve talked, so when he sent me a message a few weeks ago asking me to answer some…

Sound advice from an uncommon bitch.

Bitches on the train

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 23:20:06 -0400

Common bitch: It’s shit that I would love to say but I can’t.
Equally common friend: Why?
Common bitch: Because I’m in love with him!
Equally common friend: Oh yeah, that makes sense.

been sayin this shit about these lame ass girls for years man. no substance to their personality, no interesting hobbies or talents, nothing interesting about them whatsoever. and they always wonder why they cant find a guy who wants to stick around.

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 23:52:00 -0500

There are many great women out there. Unfortunately there are more common bitches that overshadow this fact and are giving the gender as a whole a bad name.

shit girls put in their fb statuses.

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 23:33:55 -0500

kittykhas:

one day it’s like:

I DON’T NEED A BOYFRIEND TO BE HAPPY I’M GONNA LIVE MY LIFE

the next day it’s like:

i just want a boy to lay next to me in bed and cuddle and watch movies

and then it’s like:

fuck boys forever bye.

and then it’s like:

where are all the single boys attt hollaaa

like pick one which one! are you done with guys or are you still looking for someone to love you?? lmfao

I love getting the daily facebook updates about where girls stand with their man. I’m sure you don’t write it hoping he’ll read it either…right?

He shouldn't have to text you first.

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 23:29:04 -0500

500days0fminhtam:

I hate it when girls say, “He’s the boy. He should text me first.”

That is so stupid. If you want to talk to him, text him. The effort put into a friendship/relationship should be equal. And expecting somebody text you first just because he’s of the male gender is ridiculous.

A girl with some sense.

What would a common bitch do?

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 11:34:55 -0500

Common bitches post the same photo of themselves over and over and over. They may switch arms that they are taking the photo with from time to time.

This Crazy Girl’s Texting Tops Them All | Pleated-Jeans.com

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:37:15 -0500

This Crazy Girl’s Texting Tops Them All | Pleated-Jeans.com:

This goes from crap to shit-show in 30 seconds.

"If (insert boyfriend name here) isn’t 9 inches away from my face, he’s too far away. Is..."

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:36:23 -0500

“If (insert boyfriend name here) isn’t 9 inches away from my face, he’s too far away. Is this work day over yet?! :/”

- Common Bitch

Common Bitches Love Valentine's Day

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:34:00 -0500

Common bitches love Valentine’s Day. Why? I have a few theories:

1) It’s the one day of the year that their crappy boyfriend is forced to pay attention to them. Any other day of the year they can be treated like shit but on Valentine’s Day their boyfriend has to love them. A coworker asked me if I was doing anything special for v-day and I told her no, I’ve never really been big on it. She couldn’t figure out why and proceeded to ask me if I’ve had a bad Valentine’s Day experience and numerous other questions. When I said no I would rather be loved every day of the year and surprised randomly not at force, she told me that that doesn’t happen. Well, your boyfriend sucks then and so do you. Another one of my coworkers received an edible treat from her “boo” that has a girlfriend. While I must say it was delicious…really? If he got that for you what do you think he got for his main squeeze?

2) Common bitches love to show off what their “greatest boyfriend ever” gets them on this special day. Valentine’s Day is not Valentine’s Day without your favorite common bitch making a post on Facebook with the flowers and chocolates their sweetie pie sent on the one day of the year their boyfriend does something nice. And don’t forget ladies, it’s a competition so be sure you really express to the world how much you love your man. One girl I know that has been cheating on her boyfriend off and on for quite some time took the cake for number of posts about how much she loves her boyfriend. Disgusting and common.

3) You get to dress like a slut and not feel slutty. Make sure you go to Victoria’s Secret and get your red or pink sexy time outfit and reward your boyfriend for those roses he sent you on this special day.

4) It’s the one day of the year common bitches that starve themselves get to binge eat chocolate their boyfriend sent them. And for the single common bitches? Well they also get to binge eat chocolate and cry about how hard it is to be single.

I suppose common bitches aren’t all to blame on this one. Men, you really should treat your ladies more than just one day of the year. And ladies, stop being so common. You’re ruining it for the rest of us.

Pfft.